short funny affirmations
Self-love is the greatest middle finger of all time., See also: 210 Killer Self Love Captions For Instagram To Lift You Up. 168. Lily Tomlin, 242. My body deserves love. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. 14. 211. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 65. 1. The following is the list of some humorous affirmations for you: I am doing all the amazing things because I am an amazing human being. If Monday had a face, I would punch it. Or maybe, you just love cracking jokes and making people laugh. 67. Remember, What consumes your mind, controls your life., 7. Laughter brings me closer to people. I am happy and joyful. A wishbone. 113. Funny affirmations youll find here will boost your confidence and make you laugh. Yes, officer, I saw the speed limit, I just didnt see your car. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. I am loving all the bad experiences because they are giving me something . 7. 13. I love myself, which is why I dont need to love the idea of other people loving me. Sometimes the M is silent. 2. Relaxing the mind with some funny affirmations is an easy way to reduce stress and keep yourself grounded in moments of turmoil. 22. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. With a cowculator. 57. I will be the type of person I would like my children to become. 78. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? "We . Who cares about the future? Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. Alison Boulter Whether its at other people or at ourselves, its good to laugh in life. I believed in Santa Claus for 10 years. I am naturally cool, calm, and collected. "After 30, a body has a mind of its own.". I have a new hairstyle today, its called I tried. Gary Delaney 18 Funny Positive Affirmations. - Catherine Pulsifer. Loving yourself and believing in yourself is the first step in making these funny positive affirmations work for you. Not me, but somebody does. Oh sheet! 38. 209. 2. When I can laugh at myself, life becomes so much easier. Did you know that having a good sense of humor is very important when it comes to social interaction? Ann Landers, 244. 211. How do astronomers organize a party? I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. Live life to the fullest. You have to go after it with a club. 36. 172. I am way dumb than my mom keeps blabbering about me to the neighbors aunt. ~ Bill Gates. If youre hotter than me, then that means Im cooler than you. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Short Funny Quotes. Frances McDormand Henny Youngman 71. I understand success cant happen overnight. 120. [click_to_tweet tweet="Things are getting better all the time" quote="Things are getting better all the time" theme="style4] People wont be going to bed thinking about that one bad joke you made. These affirmations will help you to combat the lies of the enemy in every aspect of your life. We need to hear a pin drop. Why did the can crusher quit his job? The chains on my mood swing just snapped. To put your affirmations into practice, follow these steps. They shape our present and have an impact on our future. IRS: Weve got what it takes to take what you have got. Nobody gets out alive anyway. A backbone. Remember: Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Not a peli-cant. My mom scolds me for no reason. 225. Helen Giangregorio 2. May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive. My feelings are just like acquaintances, they come and go. 138. I keep moving forward even if my pants come off. Henny Youngman, 246. Why cant you play cards on a small boat? Nobody gets out alive anyway. If I lose my hopes, I am afraid my mom will still scold me for taking it out and showing it to friends. I dont go crazy, I am crazy. 205. I receive what I believe. Life begins on Friday night. 269. I am sorry not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing me. Really? 231. 170. Franklin Jones Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. 171. Say "Thank you" - A Motivational Video On The Importance Of GratitudeIntro Speech by Denzel Washington (Commencement Speech)Main speech by Fearless Soul "Tha. If you want flowers on February 14, plant them now., 6. Bill Murray, 251. 76. Pampered cows produce spoiled milk. If you enjoyed reading these funny positive affirmations, make sure to bookmark this page for future reference, and share your favorite affirmations with your friends and family. 110. Because he was always spotted. Jackie Collins 42. 133. A gummy bear. 7. 9. So, why not team them up? Its called tomorrow. Nobody is listening, but you still feel embarrassed. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I cant see. Next up is a collection of funny affirmations that will make you love yourself more. 188. 56. Im full of funny ideas waiting to be expressed. Does it count if you say them in your mind? Watch popular content from the following creators: Maaryfairyy(@maaryfairyy), Jasmines Garden(@jasminesgarden23), Dazley(@dazzlemeup), JaySean(@jaysean), Nathalie Munoz(@nathaliemunozx3) . Most of the articles that Ive written about affirmations are about more serious topics: Lets keep things a little lighter in this article shall we? I try to see the funny side of every situation. 99. 'If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some.'. Never judge a book by its movie. Why is England the wettest country? Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. "A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret. 247. 64. Im not here to judge, Im just pointing out all the mistakes youre making. 203. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. Run. What do I do for a living? 230. - TS Eliot. Its not easy staying motivated for work all the time. 23. The best things in life are free. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. 156. 239. In the morning, I cant get up. Why did the school kids eat their homework? I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. I dont need a psychologist to dig into my personal life and ask me about all of my secrets, thats what my friends are for!, 13. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. 21. 250. Take a dose of encouragement from your positive affirmations whenever youre feeling down. Treat me like a joke and Ill leave you like its funny., 4. Sometimes I am so freaking awesome, I blow my own mind. 218. Excuse me, I need to go be awesome today. My cankles will hold me. 151. I see the funny side of life more and more. 197. I am so worthy so that I am filling the life of people with fun and joy. I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. 270. When you fall, I will be there to catch you with love. Begin your days with these powerful, funny affirmations for self-esteem. Erma Bombeck Rodney Dangerfield. 194. 27. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. Not everyone has good taste., 3. 132. I attract the right people and repel the wrong ones. Reciting witty affirmations can help you rise above any problems you encounter. Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. 134. 8. You can think about your affirmations at work, while driving, when you practice yoga, and when you spend time with your . I am feeling wittier and more naturally funny. 276. I am on a seafood diet. 218. Your email address will not be published. 25. I am already great, and I am yet to reach my full potential. Treat me like a joke and Ill leave you like its funny. Heres a list of funny affirmations that will improve your mood instantly. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A backbone. Walter Bagehot. They make you change without hurting your self-esteem. 97. If you feel like todays not your day and the best thing would be to stay in bed, Ive got something that will cheer you up. - Christopher Reeve. With a cowculator. 72. Paul Ehrlich, 241. I am passing all the things and hardships with a smile. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. May life man not be perfect, but Im blessed., 13. 37. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldnt complain. I dont think thats a coincidence., 3. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up. Everyone brings happiness to this office. Your words become your actions. Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre overwhelmed, stressed, or just dealing with negative self-talk. 44. Happiness is a choice. I can always be fatter. 245. I would have appreciated exams if they had allowed our Pokemons and Ninjas. Maybe Monday doesn't like you either. Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat., 10. 3. Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesnt contain any calories. -Gandhi. Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. Stop trying to make everyone happy. Why cant you trust an atom? Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. 231. 217. 160. Edward A. Murphy. We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. 105. - Billie Burke. 243. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer., 10. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective. - Marcus Tullius Cicero. 31. Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be miserable., 7. Swimming trunks. Be careful when you follow the masses. When and How to Let Them Know, How To Cheer Yourself Up When Feeling Down, 5 Things To Discuss With Your Partner Before Marriage, Funny Positive Affirmations For Self-Esteem, 50+ Powerful Positive Affirmations For Exams, 70+ Positive Affirmations For Teens From Parents. And get over it. Let these funny affirmation quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day. Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? 44. May your yoga pants be stretchy, your coffee be strong and your Wednesday be short., See also: 120 Inspiring Wednesday Morning Blessings To Motivate You. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? Really? If I am willing to go back to bed when I wake up, I will go and make up the bed. If you cant remember my name, just say chocolate and Ill turn around.. 111. Boost your ego and narcissism in as little as 5 minutes per day and set yourself up for success. My to-do list doesnt include dealing with negative people. It's why you may feel excinervous (aka excited and nervous at the same time). 202. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. You can only be young once. I choose to stop obsessing about my body. 28. 66. 210. Milton Berle Im not weird, Im just limited edition. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. When our phones fall, we panic; but when our friends fall, we laugh. 228. 32. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well. My windows arent dirty, my dog is painting. Unknown. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldnt walk to the donut shop. Jonathan lockwood huie. Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me? Edward A. Murphy With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. 225. We all have those days when we feel like the world is coming to an end. Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. 162. We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. Whatever the case may be, a sense of humor can go a long way toward changing your perspective on negative occurrences in your life. I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. Mind blown! Robert A. Heinlein, 243. I make a difference by showing up fully. 202. And a funny bone. Just as importantly, you can benefit from laughter in everyday situations. Its called tomorrow.
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